The weather is a butt.
My cellphone is acting weird
Kerr’s Molasses Kisses are the worst Halloween candy. Why are they even called “kisses”? They look like turds.
I’ve never actually eaten candy corn. What does it even taste like? Presumably, not actually like corn.
When I was a kid, we would hook the Mr. Potato Head moustache into our noses. We had no concept of sanitary practice.
IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!